Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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