My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
