My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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