I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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