I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
