I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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