she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
