The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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