does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
