Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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