Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
