just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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