If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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