You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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