Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize