I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
