so explain again why im purple
no
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
