i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
