Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
