i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
