If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
