Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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