Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
foreskin is a definite game changer
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's blow job season.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
