11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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