he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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