Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
