Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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