She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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