There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
