He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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