i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
