she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
