this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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