you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
