I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
