dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
