yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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