What a fucking waste of an outfit
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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