so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
