break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I smell like Dick and happiness
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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