If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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