Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
