:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
