It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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