I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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