there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
