It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
