I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
