Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
