I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize