They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
