then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
