I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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