If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize