She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
