i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
