i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
