What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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