I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
