remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
