Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
