If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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